There's been more than the occasional nudge this week, and of late.

The nudges, little reminders, little pushes - to look beyond. Beyond this little sandcastle wall of myself I have invested my thoughts, perspectives and efforts on, trying to figure its intricacies that, although not altogether inconsequential, is no longer..enough.

It has contrained my mind too long, narrowed my horizon to a hand's width, rendered my views out of touch with the world - in short, it has shackled my growth as an individual.

I do not deny the benefits of introspection. All are human afterall, to some extent the same emotional creatures, and here it sometimes allows a tracing of the same emotions of others from your experiences. You recognise it, sometimes can even accurately anticipate it.

It is bitterly ironic how I realise only now an obsession (gone too far) with one's inner self would in turn hinder your own growth; that being intune with yourself will somehow stagnant devlopment, it is the outside world that accelerates.

World issues, larger ideas, contrasts, conflicts, politics. How the world runs. Is growth only possible with the understanding of and intellectual connection with these? (This is yet another question to be left for discussion sometime else)

What I am grateful for is the opportunity, of late, to be enlightened of greater things than what I usually dwell in. A bigger world outside my little childish circle drawn in the sand which is, regretfully, destined to one day be completely washed -by the waves. I am thankful for the realisation that not only do I have to step out of the circle, I need to be with the waves, be part of the change.

Many things have led me to realise the possibility of change. Many things once impossible seem to now have vague routes leading to them. There seems to be hope. It even goes beyond the misty definition of "seems to", it takes definate shape of a "there is".

For once in the longest time I am excited, the mindless slumber that has been, like sludge, be plastered on my mind has finally awaken in preparation of leave. Just over the horizon lies the possiblity of a more interesting exploration.

My dulled mind stirs.