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Cookie Monster

tsesin
Name: shirley!
Age: SEVENTEEN, sweetly
Here: zhpp, nygh, njc

Who: God's Beloved

potatopeels_shirley@hotmail.com

let sing along




elmos & bigbirds

aletheia
baocheng
devon
eunice goh
jiayi
jolyn
jonathan lee
joy
junwen
justina
magdelene
mingyi
natelie
pamelia
rach
shiru
shujun
stephanie
sujah
trixie,theresa
victor
xueen
xueying
yiting
yvonne
zephy


EGO Club
Spore design fest!
SAM
word a day
freedictionary.com


bedtime now

cookie-d x May 2005
cookie-d x June 2005
cookie-d x July 2005
cookie-d x August 2005
cookie-d x September 2005
cookie-d x October 2005
cookie-d x November 2005
cookie-d x December 2005
cookie-d x January 2006
cookie-d x February 2006
cookie-d x March 2006
cookie-d x April 2006
cookie-d x May 2006
cookie-d x June 2006
cookie-d x July 2006
cookie-d x August 2006
cookie-d x September 2006
cookie-d x October 2006
cookie-d x November 2006
cookie-d x December 2006
cookie-d x January 2007
cookie-d x February 2007
cookie-d x March 2007
cookie-d x April 2007
cookie-d x May 2007
cookie-d x December 2007
cookie-d x January 2008
cookie-d x February 2008
cookie-d x April 2008
cookie-d x May 2008
cookie-d x June 2008
cookie-d x July 2008
cookie-d x August 2008
cookie-d x September 2008
cookie-d x October 2008
cookie-d x November 2008
cookie-d x December 2008


credits

x x x x x x x
Monday, October 30, 2006

things i've accomplished today:

one.
finished olevels for this year. check.

two.
went to vivocity. check.

three.
went to vivocity with someone at my arm, left with someone without.


:(

well take care in China! don't step on spit, slip and fall. and don't get so excited on your first flight you get an asthma attack and die. -_-

mindy, that counts for you too. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE LEAVING TOMORROW. YOU'RE SPENDING YOUR BIRTHDAY IN CHINA OMGGOSHH.

haha but happy early birthday nevertheless! love ya! (little bit only la XD)


haha ohno, i'll miss both of you loads. ><

spoke at : 6:54 PM
Sunday, October 29, 2006

my com's on the idea of suicide again. pausing every other few seconds to contemplate.

justina suggests old age. i think it just hates me.

HAHA ok im just being stupid. and trying d e s p e r a t e l y to forget the big invasion of the chinese donut (from dear jiayi) tomorrow.
donuts were never meant to be chinese, if you ask me. (but that makes no sensible point linking to o's so. XD)

i think im in love with jiayi's blog song!
Whenever You Remember by Carrie Underwood. :) but im trying to sit on this rushing urge to find the lyrics BECAUSE it sounds like one of those sad songs (about loss?) and i for one do not wish to be addicted to yet ANOTHER sad song and feel sad whenever i listen to it. ew.

(wow, long sentence.)


anyways. on childhood. jiayi's take: I didn't grow out of my childhood, it just decided to stop.

and its sad, cause i think i chose to grow out of mine.
:(

oh nooooo. more snipets of the song lyrics are coming through. :( actually ive got just about all the lyrics already stuck in my head, playing it over so many times.


hahahahaha. this was such a superficial, lame, uneeded entry.
(not updated immediately then. i think my com really hanged.)

spoke at : 6:44 PM
Friday, October 27, 2006

going to have to self learn from scratch the whole configuration of that Blender 3D programme during the holidays, in preparation for coursework next year.

from the totally hopeless rendering just now at the first try of opening the programme and senseless clickings that just DON'T SEEM TO DO ANYTHING - its not going to be some summer afternoon swim kind of journey. :(

YES there are tutorials. BUT JUST LOOK AT THE IMMENSITY OF THEM. there are a gazillion, just for beginners. with a friendly sidenote of "Blender beginners should not skip ahead in tutorials and expect to be able to accomplish anything... Best of luck to all!"

thanks -_-

but well, it has and thus will be done.


must learn to be on task like jaime- who tips to scary extremes ^^
and cross my fingers pray our aep teacher next year'll be Mr Lim. he's the only one well versed aesthetically AND digitally.

its damn risky doing something totally new, but then again- who does something they're good at? quoted from Mr. Lim, but it seems highly questionable. nevertheless, doing something totally new is fun :)

CLICK! an interesting forum. intelligent discussions. (some not really but well. generally so.)

CLICK! its interesting too! (gosh do i have a lack of vocabulary)
its a website dedicated to biology stuff. put across nicely. stuff you never knew. WELL I LIKE IT! :) go to the archives too. its humourous in an... abnormal? kind of way. ha. ha.


*
priorities, priorities. pragmatism is good to a certain extent. mindy says im pragmatic, julia says im pragmatic.

but pragmatic to the point of heartlessness..


would i be like that?

spoke at : 3:54 PM
Tuesday, October 24, 2006

blasted by complexity, it was a most mind boogling experience.

enticing and at the same time repulsive..most interestingly addictive, nevertheless. enlightened of the lack of any ability on my part to bid tidings to this world... my computer then plays a beautiful role (finally) with its fasination with the noose

but blast it, really.

whilst stumbling upon a desire to scream...
=
and what does a scream do to relieve me of this neuro-burden?
why a scream now of all distressed hours?
=

farewell post-it notes mashed onto my forehead with super glue from a world i've just stepped off with a click of a mouse. there to remind me everytime i stare into the mirror

such a frightening world, that was.

i've just concluded as well, that cyberspace may just very well be the top transport system around.
global, environmentally (not including humans) friendly, fast, and throughly effcient. but that, is out of the point.

point being, that world might just be a very frightening possiblility.


while contradictorily,
jiayi proclaimes with utmost support just yesterday (scrawled on the board):
" SHIRLEY, jiayou for BASIC! "

yes we are both aiming for ACS(IB) together.
but perhaps we've got our prorities scrambled up as well.


-the consequence of thinking too much, too early. as quoted by whatshisname, "Human thought is futile."


indeed

spoke at : 4:12 PM
Sunday, October 22, 2006

its just lame eating, when you can't taste anything at all.
might as well not eat you know, or just stick a permanent feeding tube that goes all the way to your stomach.

advantages:
1) don't have to brush your teeth! or maybe, just once every two weeks

2) you get all the nutritions you need! no more no less

3) (from the previous point) you live longer

4) (from point 2 again) no exercise!


okay. point is; (-_-)
IM SO THANKFUL FOR MY SENSE OF SMELL. on non-flu stricken days. haha, so that's another thing to thank God for before meals :D

eeeeeeew. i don't like flu.


jolyn wants a divorce already...and we've just been married for one day :( complains that i don't love her enough. gee.

XD

on a sweeter note, thank God for chocolate! ^^
im going to bring a whole BOX of ferora roche (however you spell that-its not important) to new zealand during the end of year programme, one after every bomb of a day climbing mountains, rafting, absailing and all.

YAYNESS. i'll bring back snow in a glass container!!


on second thoughts, maybe not. it'll turn to water anyway :( maybe if i keep it in a styrofoam box and immediately shoot it to the fridge? hmm.


ohyea, and happy birthday again! ^^


goodness. my thoughts are flying just about everywhere.-flies- must be the flu.

spoke at : 2:26 PM
Saturday, October 21, 2006

You Are Expressionism

Moody, emotional, and even a bit angsty... you certainly know how to express your emotions.
At times, you tend to lack perspective on your life, probably as a result of looking inward too much.
This introspection does give you a flair for the dramatic. And it's even maybe made you cultivate some artistic talents!
You have a true artist's temperament... which is a blessing and a curse.
What Art Movement Are You?


haha not bad its quite accurate! i love expressionism, impressionism too :)

-

really thank God for these few weeks, even through the exam weeks and all. although this week has been one of those really hard weeks when horrible stuff keeps frequenting, but i really thank God for pulling me through.. don't think i would have survived otherwise.

and actually i think these few weeks have been one of the most meaningful weeks in a long time, despite everything :)

spoke at : 1:33 PM
Friday, October 20, 2006

AHHH gosh. PEOPLE AROUND ME ARE MAKING ME EXASPERATED. they just find this ONE thing that irritates me like NUTS and they keep repeating it DAY IN DAY OUT.

that's in SCHOOL.
and guess who? yes SHIRU that nut of a genuis came up with that horrible P-P-P-P-PRIVACY thing that's so full of saliva and its just DISGUSTING..

and then XUEYING her trusty sidekick joins in. and together they repeat it to me everywhere. ASSEMBLY, DURING LESSONS, DURING COMPOSITION WRITING, IN GREETINGS, WHEN I EAT, i mean just EVERYWHERE. and they make variations of it, to add on. *screams*

and today, i turned back to a pleasant surprise. looks like ruthika has joined the gang too. RUTHIKA. goodness T-T

a normal one would be,
-feels a tap on my shoulder-
"hey shirley!"
-i turn around-
"privacy!! with that SMILE on their face and that.. saliva thingy flying everywhere.


ITS JUST EW. like EW okay.


and as if torture in the DAY is not enough, someone else has to make my NIGHT interesting as well. with another theme that irritates me. ACK, EVEN ANIMALS ARE NOT SPARED.

faints. totally ok.

IM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE NICE TO BULLY. my reputation is going rolling downhill T.T i am supposed to be cool and calm like the sea on non-stormy nights. and the good old strongly rooted tree stump in a tornado.


i bet its retribution for treating mindy like that. I LEARNT MY LESSON. someone spare me T-T
SUCK MAN, its like you're URGH OK GOODNESS but you can't do or say anything. AND WHY!?!?


if i knew i wouldnt be typing all these T-T

spoke at : 11:02 PM
Tuesday, October 17, 2006

"one thought: God knows exactly how far we can, and must be pushed, and He knows exactly how long our trials must last."

from zephy's blog.
yea.



today ive to thank God for my lit, history elect, and art papers. a surprising a1 for lit, a right-at-the-point smack pass for history elect >< and a really surprising mark for art as well.

art especially. seriously i totally screwed it up.

yea. but out of His graciousness the teacher thought the concept was nice, and i could never forget how He sustained me long enough to do prep from 11am to 4am. thats 17 hours. for a person like me?

even devon's take on the piece was like, "WA this kind of shit also can get __?!?" yea its seriously screwed >< and i almost died worrying about it.



all that worrying and jazz though, its worth it. ive learnt to trust Him more.

so i know whatever im going through now- God has a plan too.

spoke at : 11:10 PM
Monday, October 16, 2006

never did so badly in any end of years before, but i guess God's trying to teach me a lesson. haha >< albeit a very hard one..

don't really feel like getting back the rest of my papers anymore. but among others im getting dreaded art tomorrow.

but yea, its okay. its all going to be okay.(=

i guess i'll rather learn the lesson now then next year at olevels. haha yup! :)

-


haha, good thing i don't even have to explain stuff in for him to understand how i really feel, despite lots of things...so glad i have God as my 24/7 confidant.




when i look your holiness,
when i gaze into your loveliness,
when all things that surround
become shadows in the light of you.

when i found the joy of reaching your heart,
when my will becomes enthroned in your love,
when all things that surround
become shadows in the light of you

spoke at : 11:27 PM
Saturday, October 14, 2006

Father..
lord i pray for your comfort, heal this pain

be my tower of refuge, the rock in my life

and i want to know you, ever more than before..
thank you for your love

spoke at : 10:20 PM
Thursday, October 12, 2006

exams ended.
1) finally
2) on a bad note
3) .....and so?


perhaps the hype with all the post exam activites and "i can't wait for exams to ends" during the exam period -fall under the category of The Grass Is Always Greener On The Other Side idiom-theory.

but when you DO get to The Other Side, you realise its not that different after all. grass' still grass.
its kinda sad, huh.

ok goodness me. i should try to be more positive and not sad-this sad-that all the time.

-

TODAY.
i walked into a lamp-post.


... i mean seriously, outside jurong spring cc.
it was black la, didnt see it. gawd and i thought it was my stick.

talking about sticks.....ok NEVERMIND. haha.

im just so dazed and tired today.. :( haha, thats what two hours of sleep does to you. (WOW IMAGINE IF I DIDNT SLEEP AT ALL) i bet i'll crash into a telephone booth, or a pink elephant or something.

and and and.. talking about pink -i hate it ok. i used to not like it that much, but after today i hate it k. hate it hate it hate it. one day i'll have to forgive it and make concessions with it and all, but for now i just hate it.
URGHH. YEA MAN.
I HATE HOT PINK.


haha. idiot me!!


-not worth you, for all you're worth- , really.

spoke at : 11:54 PM
Wednesday, October 11, 2006

OKAY.

let's just all stop hurting one another! sorry for stuff that's hurtful in any way..anything's thats here or anything i said..really sorry..

so just let things be and see how things goes. and never stop praying, so God will always oversee things - and everything'll work out. yea (:


sorry for anything horrid, sorry for ruining or affecting anything.
yes. fresh piece of paper!*


haha- which reminds me of ART that ive to rush. i think i'll be sleeping at 2-3? if im fast. anyone bored call my hp! i'll probably be bored stiff doing art T-T

im really serious you know. im already feeling really really really BORED trapped in my room. someone must be nice and save me k!!! XD

okays! gotta run!


*and this time God'll paint it all (:

spoke at : 9:05 PM
Tuesday, October 10, 2006

tell me how to go on further, when you keep turning to look backwards

the past..should be the past. path a future, live in the present. who wants to touch a past that's prickly sharp??

hahaha.

but, my art topic's Reminisce.
someone help me.

-


HAHA. ok i shant start to be emo and stuff.

today.

...there's nothing much to talk about.
i don't want to complain about physics nor talk about my 2 more papers when people like justina have offically ENDED end of years.

"physics isn't a pretty sight." ->i was thinking of such sentences during the paper la. and "its really pretty un-pretty" and all sorts of nonsense.



sigh. its all dumb really. all this talking beneath something, saying a thing and trying very hard to mean another.
there's a lot i want to tell you, i just don't dare. AND SO, SO MUCH ELSE.


its horrible..when can i finally cast all my insecurities away??

spoke at : 9:30 PM
Friday, October 06, 2006

today was NUTS.!

literature and history...they just had to put all the LONG essay papers on the same day. well, i should be thankful im not in GEOG. GEOG-ers wrote an average of EIGHT pages, i heard. ><


end of exam week one, there's four more days to go! and im really thankful this week. thankful for the trials that showed me his love...and mercy. that He still catches me when i stumble and fall, when im convinced i've been the "worst christian ever".

i don't want to be ever too busy for God anymore.
and the feeling that He's in control, even when you look at the time and your logic tells you its totally impossible- is amazing.

and guess what, logic fails :)

tried praying for a few minutes before starting both my papers today (during exam duration) -papers that were always rushed for time. truthfully it was hard to calm down >< ive still got a loong way to go before really trusting Him, but the handing Him the exam and believing the 'impossible' was so comforting for the rest of the paper :)

God also blessed me with a weird-ly calm mind...and many many things. i owe everything to Him! seriously, haha.

another was a one-liner from a story on jan's blog quite long ago.
"Where God is, a spider's web is as a stone wall. Where God is not, a stone wall is as a spider's web."
and i personally experienced it too, during the exam week. there are so many other blessings!


ive never had a happier exam week, really/ all the stress, last minute regrets and high blood pressures never seemed so unimportant during this period of time :)


haha, when trials are an equivalent of His love :))

spoke at : 6:07 PM
Thursday, October 05, 2006

DISCLAIMER/ WHOA WHOA IM SERIOUSLY NOT TRYING TO SAY ANYTHING HERE.

-_-

spoke at : 4:15 PM

i know its a bit late... but i was digging out all the old CDs and i found taufik's album! (its a burnt cd)

AND THE SONGS ARE NICE! some la..they fall in quite extreme ranges actually. i think i like the genre. a little jazzy, bluey, a little R&B. :) jazz totally rocks. haha.
there's a pure jazz 'Me and Mrs Jones' but i do know that he took the song from other people..so its not technically his.

well but this is technically "his", and im in love with it :)
its called One Last. listen!




ok, its a sad song. and actually i don't have a habit of listening to sad songs but this is nice! :) sadly. haha.
the lyrics are nice too. maybe i'll post them up as well. but its not nice to think of sad lyrics.

hahaha.

'Me and Mrs Jones' is really beautiful too. and extremely sad. seriously. haha, but jazz has a way of covering it up. with smooth overtones, off beat accents, pretty tunes.


jazz jazz jazz/
sometimes i wonder which genre of sad songs are well, sadder. the ones that word it out direct and seem so painful to hear, or the ones that weave sadness behind beautiful beats and melodies.

ah, these sad-song addictions are so unhealthy.



One Last

I never could imagine, life without you
From the moment you walked into my world
Never knew how long a loving flame could burn
But losing you has forced me to learn
That we can't change the way we feel inside
And every try at love never turns out right
We both know it's better if we just let it go
So let's have

-Chorus-
One last kiss
One last touch
One last tender moment between us
One last dance
To our first song
While pretending there's nothing wrong
Let's stay here for a while and
Cherish every moment we're in denial
We both know
It's better if we just let it go

Every time I try to take a stand at all
I see your face again and I fall
In the middle of the night there's the scent of a rose
The smell of your perfume I suppose
But we can't change the way we feel inside
And every try at love never turns out right
We both know it's better if we just let it go
So let's have

-Chorus-

Baby if we met each other under a diferent sky
Maybe then things would be much better between you and I
We could always hold on to this one special thing we share
But it would be too much for us to bear
So let's have

-Chorus-

We both know
It's better if we just let it go

spoke at : 3:18 PM