OH NO WHAT HAPPENED TO MY COMPUTER...everything's changed to chinese!!! -_-
the history's all wiped out...

gee. man-_-. and the computer in class ar...i was doing the ppt when it suddenly shut down..but at least it told me to save all my stuff first la. crazy networks and crazy technology. gees.

OHMAN! haha even the chinese's not the simplified chinese....its the fan ti zi. speaking of chinese..my chinese teacher's forcing me to go to her every lunch to read to her in view of the round-the-corner olevel chinese oral. T-T

although i AM quite reluctant..i know i need it la. i mean i REALLY do man. :( SIGH.


hmm..today was a tiring day. was really falling asleep in class and all. i need to sleep earlier!!! and bathe earlier!!!! sheesh im bathing at like 12 sth 1 am everyday for dunno how long already.

but i thank God for a lot of things today! (:


oh. and mindy complains that im cheating her INFRONT of her. SHE'S JUST JEALOUS. okay la fine....next time i'll cheat behind your back ok?

LOLxD

ok we have to stop being les and all. WE NEED TO GET OUR RELATIONSHIP RIGHT.
HEAR THAT MINDY!!


ok. gotta go eat (:

First day of school.

I WILL NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER LEAVE MY HOMEWORK TO THE LAST MINUTE ANY MORE.

ohwell. that's what i say after EVERY june holidays anyway. :( and this time round i was BANNED from listing out all my undone homework at the last minute.

and hw piles again T-T


know what. i actually MISSED my classmates. not that they arent missable-but you know, i didnt Expect it. and expecting something and not expecting something is very different. when you don't expect it, it comes like a shock to surprise you.

yeah. XD


sighh. met olivia on the bus and couldnt remember her name for nuts >< was trying to recall throughout the bus journey!!! in the end i gave up and asked her

and on sunday night (or more of monday morning) i was trying to attach names to pictures of faces that coincidentally are my classmates! lol. struggled a bit but in the end I REMEMBERED. do i have a bad memory or what. =(

anyway. at least i remembered those sitting around me ar. HAHA

but for some reason, looking at all the quite familiar faces and sitting positions in the class and everything..., suddenly made me miss them. darn it ar. hahaha


there're relationship problems with so many people around me nowadays...its worrying and all. but well...things of the world don't last, and i guess it'll be less painful to break off now then later. the sooner the better - unless you know its meant for you i guess. and only God knows.

and there will be so many instances that i can just thank Him for helping me to choose the correct path despite it being so difficult. He knows its best for everyone ya. ya!

lol kkkkkkk. enough mannnn. ive got TONS of hw to unload and do. :) <- this is so i can be more joyful, ya know.

my mom's going nuts.

hope she doesnt notice me and start hollering at me like she did with everyone else. im the only other one left untouched after she's done with my maid.

well but ive done my best to lower the chances...im doing my essay on the com..thats no reason to scream at me...

ive closed the door partially to my room so there'll be less chance of her blowing over that..(cos my room's forever messy. i tried, really cant help that)

have ended phone conversation so she wouldnt scream at me for that..

have hidden my hp so she wouldnt have a reason to scold that im smsing too much/handling my hp too much (incase im so suay smsing halfway if she sees me or doubletriple suay my hp vibrates when she comes in)

have closed the door to the room im in so she'll (hopefully) miss me X|


my mom's ok la, i guess. she's just freaky and so out-of-control when she's pissed. like, freaky. haha

i feel dangerous..
as in, in danger- haha *prays

hope its ok by the time ive to go out for lunch man. in half an hr's time. ><

tired.

today's the 20th. just 10 days ago, i was facing the same problem at full blast.. and today again.

really tired.


today was such a hectic day. to greenridge sec to do art from early in the morning till 3? then to cityhall mrt to visit SAM till 7. and all the way back home

warfare. was expecting it, after these few intensely fruitful days.


Dance me till the end of love> something that caught my eye when i picked up a brochure lying on that shiny museum floor

the art museum captivates me, somehow, everytime. i like thinking what each piece means. haha. although it may seem boring at first, but i don't mind the peace and solace. don't like to be alone though, just need someone there who'll leave me alone for a while at least. and understand im not trying to be cold, i just like being alone sometimes.

haha man. im not gonna be a very warm mother when i grow up next time. ohwell.


alfred's nickname, worth a little thought:

i think its really strange, how fast one can leave your side, and how precious one can be when they're gone ; its sad


and what if one day i blew a thousand winds away..

needing Him ever more.

feel like going for the morning service tomorrow. waking up early to hear a sermon you know

haha feeling lonely. rest of the family's overseas on holiday.

realised what it means when a sermon said that one of the reasons God created families was for companionship. its true.

although well...maybe we're not the happiest of families but the loneliness is just magnified without them. and i realised how ive just taken them for granted all the while.

now at night it just feels lonely when you lie in bed and know that you're the only one sleeping in these few rooms.


jolyn! i know you don't want me to say this but cheer up...although it sounds so impossible and you feel so lost and messed up, remember that He'll always be there no matter what. His love is forever.

i understand, and i know how much it hurts...but *hugs*
it'll be ok


was talking with a nicholas from rays coming back home from church on the bus yesterday night. met him on the coach back from malaysia (since julia had to sit with grace), and im thankful.

his conviction to act on what God revealed to him during the camp was very encouraging. he was also so determined to pray more, be more consistent in QT- and give some things up that wasnt pleasing in God's eyes. we shared our problems in our spiritual life, and turns out his parents are non christians, always quarrelling quite a lot too. but he told of how God helped him grow, and through him i realised how nothing is really impossible for God.

ha thank God. its amazing how people are put in your life to encourage you. and i was complaning on the coach somemore.


ohno ive to wake up at six thirty if i want to go to the 1st service early in the morning tomorrow..
okayokay. on second thoughts, i think i'll go for the 2nd service-_- haha

camp's tomorrow...

im excited la, but im just really tired after that So You Think You Can Dance high i guess. gosh...i should really stop getting high man.

and my mom's being more anxious than me about me not having started packing and stuff and stuff while im doing a quiz on the com and everything. haha


ha k. freak la im just really tired.

till when we come back then. ive been blogging far too much anyway.
i'll miss singapore! or more of the people in singapore! haha

probably

haha THE SONG IS ON BABY! muahaha i love the song(: the chorus only la. the other parts arent very nice...but yea. GO LISTEN!

IF YOU HAVENT SEEN, blake and melody dance a lyrical to the chorus of Heaven!(the song) and it ROCKS! links at the side bar...



hmmm...church camp next week! United in Love. such a beautiful theme:)

its beautiful to love people; haha
it all becomes worth in the end, and all along the way too/

haha.. :)
HAIYA. have a lot to work for for sparring X( *dies
i feel so tempted to just leave it like that, as bad as it is :D

and i really don't see all the fuss about the world cup thing really u know. but then again, it isnt really all that surprising for me so nevermind -_- haha.

i think justina will kill me for saying this...but nevermind. SHE UNDERSTANDS. i think :D


okay la. ive been online for too long XD

something i find very encouraging from jonq's blog:

God is too wise to be mistaken...
God is too good to be unkind...
So when you don't understand
When you can't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His heart...


sometimes surrendering something close to your heart can difficult, and i find myself struggling...but its nice to know you're not the only one. and that God can provide strength..

the few lines up there are comforting(: reminds me that ive to trust in Him in all things..because in the end, He still wants and knows the best for us.

and the hardest things that you surrender to God are the things that make Him the happiest too..


Father grant me Your wisdom and strength..

weeee. don't ask me what im doing.

Anxiety attacks can be scary and debilitating, causing extremely stressful physical and emotional responses. Physical symptoms can include rapid heart rates, chest pain, upset stomachs, hyperventilation, lightheadedness, sweating, controllable fear, and even pain.


quite interesting right.

okay anw. I WILL NOT WASTE MY TIME TODAY.
but i freakingly cannot manage on my own T-T i need God's strength. i can NEVER practise self discipline T----T


SALMON AND PORRIDGE IS FREAKING NICE BABY!

ok. hahahaha. chill~

p.s/ T-T i feel like crying, i miss my fav. brand of milk :'(
(hahahahaha ok i shant act stupid anymore. and NO MINDY I AM NOT ALREADY STUPID)

just finished the last of my favourite brand of milk again T.T

HA u know i think the music on huien's blog is making me kinda sad. ive heard it somewhere before but i don't remember where...some long ago time i cannot recall


yay just came back from dance :)) today's practise was really nice. or maybe more of, today everyone was much more "into" the dances. which is really cool:)

yesterday night i went crazy and overly emo again, and mindy was the target of my ramblings HOR. lol. feel asleep in the middle of an sms..and woke up to send it.


THANK YOU MINDY! although in the end ar still no resolution or anything, but at least you were nice to talk to la hor :)

haha...woke up feeling VERY horrible though. and i don't even know why. just reallyreally horrible..
i prayed for strength, and miraculously everything was ok by the time i reached school :) and ..ha, i don't know. He is forever faithful. and sometimes i cant help but be thankful for His love:)

PRAISE GOD! and it was easier dancing when u think of dancing for HIM! so yea:) praise Him foreverrrrrr


hahahaha... aiya. julia's sim card's confiscated again ><
HAHA WAIT///someone's nick just came up with a "save water, drink beer" LOL


OKAY OMGDNESS I HAVE TO SWITCH THAT MUSIC OFF ITS DRIVING ME um~ soomething. (lol i seriously don't know WHAT. don't think there's a word that fits the description)

ohman, *screams. radioblogclub just DOESNT work on my com T_____T AARGH. i want to hear the full song Heaven by DJ Sammy!!!!!!!!!! darn it. someone send me the song pleasssse??


njd later... AND I URGENTLY NEED GEK SWEE'S HP NO.!!

chill

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as driven and ambitious. Overall, your true self is reserved and logical. With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react. In love, you seem mysterious and interesting. In stressful situation, you seem like you're oblivious to the stress.

hahahahahahaha. correct or not?

Your Love Element Is Water

In love, you connect deeply and commit totally. For you, love is all about taking risks and moving into unknown territory. You attract others with courage and confidence. Your flirting style is defined by your flexibility and ability to adapt. Nurturing and shared learning are the cornerstones of your love life. And while you may jump in to love too quickly, you always come out the wiser for it. You connect best with: Metal Avoid: Earth You And another Water element: will pull each other down into a dark place

water! water is important to life. drink 8 glasses a day.

Your Daddy Is Johnny Depp

What You Call Him: Daddy Dearest Why You Love Him: He takes you to church

HAHAHAHA...funny la

You Are Lightning

Beautiful yet dangerous People will stop and watch you when you appear Even though you're capable of random violence You are best known for: your power Your dominant state: performing

heh heh. im dangerous ar?

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness. Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul. You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable. Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings. You have great vision and can be very insightful. In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself. Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend. You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

WA.

You Are a Powdered Devil's Food Donut

A total sweetheart on the outside, you love to fool people with your innocent image. On the inside you're a little darker, richer, and more complex. You're a hedonist who demands more than one pleasure at a time. Decadent and daring, you test the limits of human indulgence.

eh. ok i wasnt expecting these kinda results. i thought it'll tell me what flavour i am. ohwell. *dissappointed

You Are 50% Evil

You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side. Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.

um. ok it isnt really comforting.

You Are Strawberry Ice Cream

A bit shy and sensitive, you are sweet to the core. You often find yourself on the outside looking in. Insightful and pensive, you really understand how the world works. You are most compatible with chocolate chip ice cream.

*SCREAMS* hahahahahaha WHOOAAAWEEEE strawberry ROCKS! vanilla too!:))) and choco chip is the best cos its so FULL of vanilla :)
YEA VANILLA!


okayokay ive done ENOUGH. LOL....blogthings is ADDICTIVE!
as you can see. im bored. tried 10.3 and thought it was rubbish. so im waiting for my lunchee!

hahahahahahahaha. being high makes me high. WHOA///

okokok. my thighs' still hurting!! darn -_- since LAST THURSDAY LA. stupid warm up. more like PT can. I HOPE ITS OK BY WEDNESDAY. or BETTER BE.

haha ok seriously i think its more than an ache. i think ive hurt it or sth. it feels...different from normal aches i get from dance or njd. this feels more...persistent. and it hurts even when im not using it. AH.


yesterday at the dance studio tried left jumping yoyatsu and i STILL cannot do! but i felt lazy so i didnt care XD
I WANT TO LEARN THE PATTERN!!!!! after two belts of stick(s)-swinging-and-thus-not-nice patterns i want to do a hands free one! and i need time to get use to it la so someone bloody teach me the pattern la!

ohgosh if sir reads this he will kill me. anyway. my stamina still sucks, i think i'll die during grading. i felt like dying at the blue one u know >< suck. 24 jumping kicks >< AH.


it depends on my moods though. when i feel like challenging myself, its difficult, but it makes me high or sth, so i don't really feel tired, or i don't care, sth like that. but wa when im tired or sian, i feel like im gonna DIE.

and i cant control my moods. suck. thats why im online too, cos i cant sit down and properly run through my horrible hw. although it is horrible. but then again, which hw isnt horrible?

ANYWAY. lunch's here.

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its a lyrical by blake and melody.

don't watch the others it doesnt matter, but you so freaking have to see this. this dance must be the best ive ever seen...it touched my heart. this is seriously really good. watch it!

lol darn the first time i saw it i almost cried. and its not because of whatever emo stuff or issues ok. but because the dance came out so true and beautiful. its truely, magnificent. the dancers and cheorography. dancers blake and melody. and everything was so perfect, music too:) *fell in love with the song.

AHHHHHHH blake is my idol or sth. he's so emotional in his dancing. HE IS FREAKING GOOD>


ha, besides that.
the dance is just beautiful. it really shows well, human desire. so clearly and simply and beautifully.


this is a true dance. a dance about life.

GDOP's tomorrow!

and our church fills in for the flagbearing roles last minute cos another church cant make it, something like that. so fun!=) okays but we cant choose our countries :( or matt'll go nuts. HAIYA.

hmm...warfare's strong, so all of us must keep in prayer ya?:)


prayer bonds us all together, gives peace to our souls but most importantly, it strengthens our relationships with God! and the best thing is, God doesnt care about the content or the length of our prayers, but how much FAITH we have when we pray. He wants so much to give, because He loves us so much- every single one of us:)

pray that tomorrow, we'll all be found faithful in prayer- He grants us faithfulness.

today's sermon was meaningful...vision. God granted visions vs YOUR OWN visions.hmm


LOL. justina and i can relate! haha...love her mans <3#

nights are... im still consciously sensitive to my surroundings. like how cold it is, the pain when i put weight on my aching muscles, the slight crumbling of the paper under my pillow, and lastly how bright it is when day breaks. hmm. how to solve the problem.? haha, i shall pray. something's bound to happen.

oh and i didnt mention. THURS NJD CLASS WAS CRAZY OKAY. GOSH. justina good thing u didnt go. "warm up" was horrendous. 115 squats, 60 situps(u know that hold 6 counts one), 20 pushups(guys way) for girls. >< wa now my thigh muscles are aching so much they hurt A LOT when i put even the slightest weight on them.

STAIRS ARE KILLING ME. and ive to walk funny >< .like locking my knees when i put weight on a leg and bending only when the feet leaves the ground. lucky for me! it still looks normal:)

haiyo. i think i havent ached so much in my entire life before. ITS SO FREAKING PAINFUL. haha, when i have to sit im like o u c h and its even worst when i have to squat down. AH. i hope its ok by tomorrow. or not that painful//

MY MUSCLES ARE GETTING CHUNKY. eeeew. but im seriously beyond caring. OHWELL. the price of njd. worth it or not? lol

LOOKING FORWARD TO TOMORROW MAN.lol/
God is amazingly amazing:)

i feel so tired. again. in the middle of the holidays. haha. i can just die here laughing bitterly.

dance in the morning, and now i feel so drained out. i need sleep desperately. so so so desperately.

but i cant; or i'll be late for my maths lesson.


darnit.
i don't get it. nowadays when i fall asleep at night i wake up in the morning feeling like ive never slept at all. my mind feels so tired, i can barely catch my spirit as it stumbles in sleepiness.

ha, fancy words aside...its true. and when i close my eyes and try to sleep again it feels like a wave washing my mind in consciousness and thoughts again. darnit i don't get it it feels like ive been thinking and thinking and thinking about everything the whole night- not really sleeping, not really resting.


i cant help it..and it leaves me waking in the morning feeling very disturbed. i don't feel like the morning's a new day, it feels like it the continuation of all my thoughts during the night, only more real.

dreams flash over and over throughout the night, i know ive dreamt of close to everything there is going on wrongly in my life. or everything there is to worry. i don't it. its freakingly affecting me.


at first i thought it was my handphone, about some big radiation thing that supposingly affects your mind, or even to the fact i cant really sleep because im unconsciously being..conscious about my phone vibrations? but even when i off my handphone before i sleep, nothing changes.


i cant get sleep. and its draining me out. how? ha...sleeping pills?


it rains outside. the room's dark, caught in the middle of day and night time. the light from the screen burns into my eyes and the glare leaves a second dimension when i glance elsewhere.
im tired.

maybe because its june. how much does it hold.

why are some parts of the year harder to get by