I should go on a solo midnight movie one of these days.
To numb my mind.


But im probably not allowed now that the exams are 5 weeks away and counting. To be exact, 36 days away and counting.
36 days.


Then again.

Not like im going to be allowed even when exams are over. Maybe wait another decade or two.



Things are so hard. there always seem to be a higher hurdle right behind the one you just managed to hurl yourself over.


And i constantly wonder why- why do i drag myself into an endless pit every single time.
like now.



Wonder why sometimes people just don't notice. or they just aren't affected while you're drowning behind your dead smiling eyes. And sometimes you wonder if they're also like that..
You reach out, but find yourself catching hold of nothingness, only bringing back your own despair.

but still smiling. always smiling.


Everyone has their own set of problems. Am i being... whine-y, complain-y. whatever there is under the sun. if we can find the sun at all.

Comfort, though -i find only at the end of the day on my knees, in my bed. before the dreams'



.:Tonight. shall be the last night of this melancholy.


Tomorrow I shall be smiling again.

I SURVIVED MATH- fresh from just after the test. OMG.

WOOOHOOOOOOO~~ lala ha im still a daze/aftermath :)


ITS FINALLY OVER. after dunno how long of STRESS

ooo i refuse to comment on the test:) i dun care what im gna get. (for now)



wahh our class was so ,united! -just before the test arh.>> for once our dear class was so prepared for lesson! and everyone was contributing to the stress atmosphere can- and everyone got more stressed! yayy~

oh stress binds us together:) like the chinese debates thingy-we all were so supportive>as in the whoole class together! i mean...for once:)))


its kinda sad, when finally, i mean, like finally after abt almost two years our dear class has started to bond a bit and we're all gna be seperated next year> like what jas said--ppl are so nicer now--


so touching>class bonding is such a beautiful thing

lol..

but its so true la can. 6L finally bonded at the end of p6, like, truly. and then off we go flying off to our sec skls.

sheesh-life is so....ironic.ha.
but we cant do anything abt it cant we? :)


chill.

jasmine: IM FROM 6L TOO!(: im happy. tata.

finally decided to type sth! changed my temp too..the old one is so...old.heh.


BUT.i still love inuyasha!! .he'll always have a place in my heart *eyes shimmering* lol.
LOL dear mr shawn's bitching with us bt some stupid ex tchs person who was in e superstar compeitition> :D

my thought process is so not incoherent now.

but i dun care(:

shall do this really lame thing i found in jas's bloggy!-

( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) crashed a friend's car
( ) stolen a car
(x) been in love
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
( ) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight
( ) snuck out of your parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
(x) skipped school
( ) seen someone die
( ) had a crush on one of your internet friends
( ) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) purposely set a part of yourself on fire
(x) eaten sushi
( ) been skiing
(x) met someone from the internet
(x) been at a concert
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow angel
(x) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
( ) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
(x) used a fake ID
( ) watched the sun set(on tv?)
(x) felt an earthquake (in my dreams:D)
(x) slept beneath the stars
(x) been tickled
( ) been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
( ) petted a reindeer/goat/kangaroo
(x) won a contest
(x) run a red light/stop sign
( ) been suspended from school
( ) been in a car crash
(x) had braces.HAVE
(x) felt like an outcast/third person
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
( ) danced in the moonlight
(x) liked the way you looked.likeD
(x) witnessed a crime
(x) questioned your heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
(x) been on the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons
( ) sung karaoke
( ) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
( ) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) danced in the rain
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under the mistletoe
( ) watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
(x) gone rollerskating
(x) had a wish come true
(x) jumped off a bridge
( ) ate dog/cat food
( ) told a complete stranger you loved them
(x) kissed a mirror
(x) sang in the shower
( ) had a dream that you married someone
(x) glued your hand to something
( ) kissed a fish
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 5 hours(for the whole day!)
(x) stayed up all night
( ) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
( ) scared to watch a scary movie alone
( ) believe in ghosts
( ) have more than 30 pairs of shoes
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school
( ) gone streaking
(x) gone doorbell ditching
( ) played gay chicken
(x) pushed into a pool/hot tub with all yourclothes on
( ) told you're hot by a complete stranger
( ) broken a bone
(x) been easily amused
(x) caught a fish then ate it (cooked la)
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
( ) cried so hard you laughed
(x) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) french braided someone's hair
( ) gone skinny dipping in a pool/hot tub
(x) been threatened to be kicked out of your house or been kicked out of your house
(x) loved someone so much you would gladly die for them


yay.so lame.

MISSING CHURCH TML

for cca cip....ive not been to church service for 3WEEKS. i want to go to church...


there's nothing much to blog about actually..maybe i should have even started on this the 1st place.but.

ohwell.havent talked to yitong in a really long while today we talked! wow...ha but throu msn la. and sujah too! haha....

life's really complicated....after some incidents we often end up hating some person...but i guess we shldnt> yea and God lights up the right path....so yea....

ha...people are grown up now! this is the time....we decide our future we want....lay the foundations for our life..


and this is the period in our life that we often mess up also.
but that's what God's for isnt it?

ha yea.....we're all looking to be unique, to be our own individual~ yet we follow others in order to do so...>stimes> ironic you know.

ha..ohwell

`Oh i feel like dancing....its foolishness i know...but when the world has seen light,they will dance with joy like im dancing now -

i could sing of Your love forever
i could sing of Your love, forever...


with His love, no one else's matters.

this week was. not good,

im not controlling my emotions- its just all wild. am i, unstable?


lastfew days was pissing every freaking person off.and all i had in mind was -can you please leave me alone. friday wasnt that bad.cos i was too sick to be pissing people off. i was grateful the day passed with me just feeling strangly detached from this world. light headedness.


im not allowed to go to festival of praise..i really want to go. i need to get out of this place. im dying. i need God.

what julia just told me struck me hard. so is that what is really happeneing? was what she thought actually true, i have no idea.

and its killing me.


someone tell me the truth.

freak. i am not going to care about what template this and rubbish that anymore. im just going to blog anyway. havent done this in a long long time.

life is not under control. it's going all wild and a little (haywire? yea. believe me. but there's always God.


*yawn* this is rather boring. or maybe cos i slept late yesterday. ohman im not going to care about what proper english crap already. at least not unless i can help it :D

GOD ANSWERS PRAYERS! He answered a lot, on saturday and sunday, really have to thank Him for working and strengtening my faith in Him...yayye....


someone i know is changing so much. really..weird. not really..just > why be someone ure not?

ah k dun feel like talking already.im getting sleepy>