<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d12754783\x26blogName\x3djust+me\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLACK\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttps://tangerine-spot.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://tangerine-spot.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d-8074695932685530567', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
Cookie Monster

tsesin
Name: shirley!
Age: SEVENTEEN, sweetly
Here: zhpp, nygh, njc

Who: God's Beloved

potatopeels_shirley@hotmail.com

let sing along




elmos & bigbirds

aletheia
baocheng
devon
eunice goh
jiayi
jolyn
jonathan lee
joy
junwen
justina
magdelene
mingyi
natelie
pamelia
rach
shiru
shujun
stephanie
sujah
trixie,theresa
victor
xueen
xueying
yiting
yvonne
zephy


EGO Club
Spore design fest!
SAM
word a day
freedictionary.com


bedtime now

cookie-d x May 2005
cookie-d x June 2005
cookie-d x July 2005
cookie-d x August 2005
cookie-d x September 2005
cookie-d x October 2005
cookie-d x November 2005
cookie-d x December 2005
cookie-d x January 2006
cookie-d x February 2006
cookie-d x March 2006
cookie-d x April 2006
cookie-d x May 2006
cookie-d x June 2006
cookie-d x July 2006
cookie-d x August 2006
cookie-d x September 2006
cookie-d x October 2006
cookie-d x November 2006
cookie-d x December 2006
cookie-d x January 2007
cookie-d x February 2007
cookie-d x March 2007
cookie-d x April 2007
cookie-d x May 2007
cookie-d x December 2007
cookie-d x January 2008
cookie-d x February 2008
cookie-d x April 2008
cookie-d x May 2008
cookie-d x June 2008
cookie-d x July 2008
cookie-d x August 2008
cookie-d x September 2008
cookie-d x October 2008
cookie-d x November 2008
cookie-d x December 2008


credits

x x x x x x x
Sunday, January 28, 2007

Days
28/1

sometimes.
sitting by the fire place,
drying out
of rainy days.

sometimes.
pondering if poems hide,
aghast emotions
a hermit's outcry.

sometimes.
reading in the midst of silence,
page by page of
promised hope.

sometimes.
walking on a straightened path,
taking in the present,
a gift.

sometimes.
turning around,
just for a glimpse to look away
of flitting shadows past.

sometimes.
stringing words of rhyme,
moulding needs
to pretty lines.

sometimes.
needing just the comfort of,
undying love
and love inspite.

-

(from amandas yina lishian's blog)

The wind blew your letter out of my hands
Before i read the part where you said 'hello' again.


sad eh?

spoke at : 10:35 AM
Wednesday, January 24, 2007

a forwarded email, but i think it's beautiful:


This morning when I awoke

And saw the sun above,
I softly said, "Good morning, Lord,
Bless everyone I love"


Right away I thought of you and said a loving prayer,

That He would bless you
specially,

and keep you free from care.
I thought of all the happiness a day could hold in store,

I wished it all for you because no one deserves it more.
I felt so warm and good inside,
my heart was all aglow.
I know God heard my prayers for you,

He hears them all, you know.

-

this week has been just busy (extreme understatement), but ive a lot to thank God for nevertheless.
without Him i think i would have died 2 days into the week.

i pray though for a deeper hunger and relationship for Him. right now i think im just rushing through qt and doing for the sake of doing. :(
its a real struggle to strike that balance, so i pray for wisdom and discernment.


today, though, is ninjado day! (ohno hahaha i make it sound like some kind of funfair-have-fun day)
really thank God for njd, cos its really shiok to just perspire and be breathless and get that adrenaline rush into your bloodstream.!
exercise is good :))


<3, tomorrow is PE, and even though the 5 rounds is a little tad bit depressing but we're playing TENNIS! oh lovelovelove x)

-


sometimes its hard not to be a little down over some outstanding issues, but yea i know God's there with me all the time, watching over me.

and sometimes there's just some things that spin so fast you don't catch it, or sometimes you just wonder why things happen the way they do, why things are so hard now, why struggles never seem to go away.

but i suppose its God's way of letting us grow.
life isn't a bed of roses and baby breaths, but God promises rest and His strength for everything we go through. :)

and the promise that he's in control, shaping everything slowly - is comforting. even though most of the time you don't see his hand.

i want to be closer to God! pray that he'll teach me to trust in him totally.


oh, and what does it mean to "wrestle with God"?

spoke at : 11:32 PM
Sunday, January 21, 2007

GOD IS GREAT.

ok ive got this new laptop, and sometimes the connection just goes really really screwed.
and YEAH. at one of the most urgent times LIKE TODAY, JUST NOW, JUST TEN MINTUES AGO, it decided to be cut off from the internet world.


and seriously i was at my wit's end. shutting down and restarting the computer didn't work. x(
and stuff has GOT to be sent out, (tomorrow's the DAY see)

so there i was panicking like nobody's business and getting all frustrated and cranky and everything AND then i remembered the verse for last week they made us memorise.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowlegde him, and He will make your paths straight."
proverbs 3 v5:6


so i prayed and stilled my heart, praying for that "straight path" and for trust.
then with a beating heart i restarted my com again.

AND BOOM AND THE CONNECTION'S ON.

GOD IS AMAZING.


maybe it sounds really plain to you now, and you're there thinking its nothing much - but when you're at your wit's end stuck at yet another roadblock, its not just a small thing anymore.


GOD IS GREAT, helping me despite me being extremely horrid when i was frustrated.
Lord i thank you for your mercy :)



yea, and today i got a sudden sms from my primary school friend whom i haven't been talking to for a long time. yitong, and she sent this:

What's minnie without mickey,
what's tigger without pooh,
what's patrick without spongbob,
what's me without you?

send this to 15 friends you never want to lose


ok it may sound cliche and extremely childish to some --(extremeists might even be snorting just about now)--, but there's no denying that somehow there's this warm feeling that glows when you receive this on a homework-havotic night

and so, (more to torment you)
if i were a king, you would be my kong.
if i were tokoyo, you would be my gozilla,

and I LOVE YOU are the 2 words ive got for you, (and if you're starting to conclude that stress is absolutely frying my brain)
its cause you and i- are one

x)

hahahaha. this' for you in no descending order of importance or whatsoever: :)

mindy jolyn justina jasmine aletheia julia rachel nicole stace micelle yiting zijing devon yayan joy yitong sujah jiayi evelyn xueying ruthi shiru trxie leanne aileen heiyi felicia jiaying meisiew and so so many more! (i realise its really too many to list all here)


but should you see this or not, know that you've all made me so happy, and i thank God for providing all these little sugar delights in my life :)
and may he bless your life too
*hugs

spoke at : 11:19 PM
Wednesday, January 17, 2007

stuck in a moment that was never meant to last

this was someone's nickname that caught my attention because it was so beautifully strung together and well, hopelessly sad ):
(not that im some sadist)

well i found out from the author that it's part of a song lyric - explaining its melanchony. haha, but that't not really the point.

another reason it caught my eye, i believe, is also because ive been caught in that never ending maze once. its a terrible feeling, of being binded tightly to something that you know can never happen, and in your lows it keeps coming back to flood your mind.

and i was caught for a long long time, feeling like im just whirling around in the same torpedo that once swept me off my feet. round and round, and round and round, not moving anywhere, not getting anywhere - just staying on the same spot and twirling.

of course you don't really show it by looking like some kinda of a walking dead zombie, but you know inside your soul its just stagnant - caught up in a moment that wasn't meant to be.


BUT.
thinking back of all these make me so thankful, because i see God's HUGE hand imprint during those horrible times. He freed me from all those binds, set me free for Him and gave this light in my life. and you feel like your soul's living and breathing again, not just coldly stagnant.

of course it was a slow process, almost killingly slow- but i trust in God's timing, because it is in that slowness that i appreciate the true fleeting moments of freedom when it came.

and that slowness helped me to understand and remember how it feels so compassion sets in when you see others suffering in the same way.

and even though some days are just really hard but there's always hope, and God so solid to lean on totally when you're just so exhausted. He's moulded me a lot, and i know there's so much more to come. He's given me all good things that i have, and controls everything that's happening to me.

so im just so thankful that, no, im not caught in any moment anymore - because of Him. :)

spoke at : 11:10 PM
Monday, January 15, 2007

copied it straight from a forwarded email, i think its all so amazing (:


*You say: "It's impossible" *

*God says:** All things are possible** *

*(Luke 18:27)** *

*You say: "I'm too tired" *

*God says: I will give you rest *

*(Matthew 11:28-30)** *

*You say: "Nobody really loves me" *

*God says: I love you *

*(John 3:16 & John 3:34 )** *

*You say: "I can't go on" *

*God says: My grace is sufficient *

*(II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)** *

*You say: "I can't figure things out" *

*God says: I will direct your steps *

*(Proverbs 3:5-6)** *

*You say: "I can't do it" *

*God says: You can do all things *

*(Philippians 4:13)** *

*You say: "I'm not able" *

*God says: I am able *

*(II Corinthians 9:8)** *

*You say: "It's not worth it" *

*God says: It will be worth it *

*(Roman 8:28 )** *

*You say: "I can't forgive myself" *

*God says: I Forgive you *

*(I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)** *

*You say: "I can't manage" *

*God says: I will supply all your needs *

*(Philippians 4:19)** *

*You say: "I'm afraid" *

*God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear *

*(II Timothy 1:7)** *

*You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated" *

*God says: Cast all your cares on ME *

*(I Peter 5:7)** *

*You say: "I'm not smart enough" *

*God says: I give you wisdom *

*(I Corinthians 1:30)** *

*You say: "I feel all alone" *

*God says: I will never leave you or forsake you *

*(Hebrews 13:5)*


yeah. (:

spoke at : 9:26 PM

so glad i went for the meeting for senior webs in church today, and got to hear matt's message for us, up close. i almost didn't go, because i was telling myself i didn't have the time.

it was so apt, that the message came after a week of seriously struggling with the amount of work and thus compromising on the time spent on quiet time. and the message spoke volumes to my heart and i can say for many in the room as well... for that i thank God, so much.

if we didn't make time for God now, at our age, how can we even keep God in our lives when we grow into adulthood and enter responsibilities and the workforce? do we love Him enough to make Him our first priority, above everything else, or do we treat Him only as a panadol pill? i have been guilty of that, so many times, returning His unconditional love with our conditional one. and it awes me how above all these faults and complains of ours that He still loves us so, so much.

but have we forgotten the Lord our God, who sent His son to die for us so we have a chance to be in heaven joyfully with Him despite our wrong doings. having "no time" is no acceptable excuse, this line struck me hard. have we been "too busy" for God? while He was always waiting outside the door, waiting for us.

this year comes as my olevel year, and even thought there seems to be so much to do i pray that i wouldn't get so caught up in the flurry of things i forget about the Lord my saviour. i pray that my house will be built not on sand, the things of this world, but on Christ Jesus the rock. so that when the waters come, that i know i will be safe anchored in Christ.

goodbye to my obsession about the future, goodbye to being "too busy" for Christ.
it'll be hard, but i thank God for my fellow sisters in Christ in whom i can confide in and get encouragement from. and we know that God's hand will be upon us, as we grow together as a youth ministry, in Him.

the Lord is our saviour, we shall not be in want.

spoke at : 1:16 AM
Sunday, January 14, 2007

It
13/1/07

There were times
when a word
would jump up at the sight,
of you.

like a little child,
excited at first glance
It bounces,
to your sight.

you smile,
knowing It by name
every syllable of It.
perhaps, even
a little too well.

yet how It jumps,
a neon beacon into your eyes
disturbs you,
a little.

but lately, you wonder
why It, starts vanishing
no bouncing,
to your sight.

you stare and stare
but it isn't there
and you realise,
it
's blended through,
all with the others.



and maybe its better that it's just gone, just like that. no messy entanglements or whatsoever.

ok the poem's hastily finished off from the previous halfway mark, so it feels really abrupt (and is actually not really accurate cos ive forgotten the feeling), but might as well, the situation came abrupt too.

i realise i don't have much patience for literature nowadays. its quite sad..but my mind is really dead. im having some sort of brain creativity drought now seriously. apparently the juice got drank up, so now im beginning to like math, which is SCARY COS THEN I'LL BE A BORING AND PREDICTABLE PERSON. AHH.


oh dear im just talking rubbish.

this week has been but one word: stress. and i foresee the coming week to be one of that too, considering how the weekend has been and is going to be.

for those who are really happily enjoying your life away at an jc orientation, good for you.
ie, JAIME.


other then that...
help.?

spoke at : 12:52 AM
Sunday, January 07, 2007

I suppose there will always be some things people want to tell others, but never really found a way of expressing so that it is a true reflection of the inside.

Expression is scary. Its potential is scary... its potential to be such a disfigured, broken image of a well meaning, loving heart – is scary.

When we say something and really mean another, its scary. Especially when you belittle what you say -because you know you don't really mean it, and never notice how you're just pushing the knife deeper and deeper. Well you know you don't mean it, but the other person doesn’t.

And sometimes expression is marred by pride, ego, pain, defensiveness, and they crack the mirror so bad, you never really got to show your heart. Before you know it, things have reached such a level its difficult to even show anything.

And sometimes walls hinder expression. Walls build out of wounded love, and the more a person means to you, the harder it is to tear the walls. What if they don't like what they find inside? And so expression freezes, reflecting only the cold exterior of the outer walls, and inside you curl in lonliness. Who stays to look at facades? And so you never got to know the people that meant most to you.

Give it a few years, and it develops into a fear of intimacy, something that most adults have – it was shown on the tele.

Expression is scary, the cracked ones are scary.
And i don’t want a broken mirror, Father help me mend this.

because there is nothing i can do alone.

spoke at : 10:38 PM
Friday, January 05, 2007

* breathes

its the third day of school, the first week. its all been like some kind of crazy mad rush for gold in australia. and australia's months away, but not like anyone's slowing down.

i pray.. that i'll still have my priorities right.
yea :)

there's not really much to blog about..and this is the first time ive said that in a long time actually.
maybe things are just different now, lots of different goals.

im thankful for mindy, the fact that we're so similar and similarly motivated now so we just totally motivate each other :) WE HOPE THIS LASTS.


and ive got to curb my cynical tongue.
and keep my quiet time consistent..!


(i feel this has become some kind of to-do list..)

spoke at : 10:40 PM
Wednesday, January 03, 2007

first day of school, and there's a test tomorrow.
no kiding, amath. AMATH. *refrains from further emo expression

haha.
but somehow God'll pull me through it.

had the chance to go high with jasmine + justina + mindy all together at once at the canteen. its so true, one'll never lose that special touch with secondary school close friends (:

and i know this is so expired, but i miss 201. :)


never realised we're now the oldest in the school, till mindy reminded me. like eeks, we so do not feel like the oldest x|

looking at the aep schedule and the million things that have to be done just makes you stressed, seriously.
and on the first day of school?


yeah. i should stop wasting time and start doing math.

AND, i should really stop focusing on the problem and instead on God, which is a struggle, yea?


goodbye rose-kissed wallpaper.

spoke at : 7:30 PM
Monday, January 01, 2007

ITS A NEW YEAR!

yesterday at the last night of the year 2006 i watched Curse of the Golden Flower, which turned out to be so freakingly tragic i sort of regretted it. despite the rather nice story.

seriously, the set's amazingly spectacular and all, but to end the year off with everyone in a tragic state and the rest dead (in the movie) is so not the way to usher the new year in. :(

gong li never fails to amaze me though, she's so...INTO the character she plays. my mom says that's cos she's like that in person, but i don't think i want to think that way.

so watch it at your own peril (whatever that may be.)
haha

yesterday's sermon was good too...
about how God wants us to stop walking in our past hurts and disappointments and towards our destiny he has for us. that dark nights are God's way of shaping us for our destiny, how God will turn our burdens into bridges, if only we stop struggling by our own resources and ask him. that he wrestles with us sometimes for a deeper intimacy with us, because it is only in brokenness that we realise it is only God who can help us.

i thought the sermon was really apt, on the last day of the year. to let go of 2006 and all its pains and struggles for the coming year, so that we can be victorious in God! :)

*
looking at the crowded house of my neighbour is a little saddening, that my relatives are all in malaysia so the new year's not really like the new year with all the supposed celebrations. sighh.

and kudos to me ive to rush my homework because apparently ive been slacking pretty much through the holidays, as usual. but nevermind. this habit shall not persist. i hope.

and im really quite serious about the issue with people dying off from the digital world. happening at quite an alarming rate.


SCHOOL'S IN 2 DAYS. or 1 1/2, infact.
I'M EXCITED! except for the fact that ive to finish homework before that. =(

for some reason there's this chi ji gan to the olevel year, like you want to rocket off and pour everything you've got all the way! x)
...or is it just mindy and me? (i think she agrees that sometimes we live in our own worlds)

ANYWAY, i sure hope its not some temporary high thing- which mindy and i are life-long experts in.

MINDYYYY! i miss mindy, jolyn, justina, evelyn...and all the stupid people in my class :D I WANNA HEAR SHIRU CRAP AGAIN. that stupid girl always makes me laugh! (i like people who make me laugh! hinthint) lol, so people, tell more jokes!!

OKAY. this is called digression. gotta go back to my homework, good thing i wrote my new year stuff beforehand. heh.

to end,
forget about what holds you back in 2006 and have a new God-filled year! :)

<3

spoke at : 7:26 PM