Sometimes I feel like I'm screwing up my life
I'm heading in the wrong-est direction, and I still keep on walking because I don't know what else to do
Seeing all the signs, and I still keep walking. Knowing the next step, the next fall, and I keep walking
Am I being stupid? Or bound by something greater than what I can control.
I'm afraid I can't discipline myself, and I'm living out my fear everyday
I don't want history to repeat, but at this rate it will, I know it will
spoke at : 8:49 AM
Replay, Reply
A kind of perverse intrigue binds me to songs of a foreign language. My lack of full understanding robs me of the chance to critique the superficiality of the expression, and I am led to believe in the depth of emotion, the highs and lows, just by the nuances of the melody.
I keep replaying it, and replaying it.
They make up the bulk of mainstream songs I can accept, expressions I'd never really understand and can only make up on my own.
I don't think I ever want to understand them.
What if then, I'd think they were never really that intriguing afterall?
What if then, I stop replaying it?
What if, what would happen, if it wasn't based on full understanding? Would history, inevitably, replay without me hitting the button
spoke at : 11:32 PM
bittersweet;
Talking to Justina about the past, I realised I've grown a lot.
Problems always hazy in the past have cleared up now, I finally understand. Finally figured the reason, the underlying reason and solution. What I did wrong, what we did wrong, and how we weren't wrong.
How it became bittersweet as we crashed every wall and yet still never made it to the right one in the end. Haha. I've come to accept the crashings as... life's experiences.
So I really want to thank you; for giving your all at that time, for making the latter of the bittersweetness true. There was a long time I thought it was all a hoax, but I've concluded that no, it was human.
The Bitterness came part from my fault, and was my punishment for disobedience. I had to learn to trust in God, so much, along the way - and for this I am thankful.
But human, we were just being human.
spoke at : 1:41 AM
tsesin