jo's back from church camp!

read her most recent entry in her blog...of all her encounters with God during the church camp and all she has learnt, and i realised how much ive forsaken God.

nowadays ive not been doing QT, yes praying for help but never bothering to do quiet time- just doing nothing about my spiritual life. and i recall a sentence i read from a book that goes something like: when satan can't make you bad, he makes you do nothing.

im not trying to say ive not been "bad". ive done a lot of things wrong, but in addition to those ive been doing almost nothing about my spiritual life too. like from a sermon jolyn heard, ive been treating God akin to a credit card, using only when needed.

reading about her church camp i recall the one last december when God finally shone a light into the darkness of my heart. i remember how he rescued me from all the lies wrapped around my life.. how he loved me even though i had an attitude that just pissed everyone else off.

and i remember how he would be the one who was always there when i felt so alone, he was there when i felt that there was no one i could really share my true feelings to.. when i felt rejected. he was there through out the time i could never really open up to people, when i felt a crippling need to adapt to the expectations of people, just for acceptance.

i could never forget how he touched me during that particular camp, changed so much and so deeply in my heart i knew he was real. his love shone like none other, so much brighter in contrast to this dark pit i felt i was being sucked into at that time.

and the greatest thing was that he loves me for who i am just being myself, not for what i did, what i pretended to be, what i tried to be. he loves me knowing what i had done before, knowing the bad stuff i was going to do later in life and still loves me, now and forever.

he taught me patience and faith to wait for his miracle and promise for salvation of a lost friend, and he was there knowing how hard i prayed, and always reassuring me. he took care of so much when i felt i couldnt handle it anymore, he gave me strength when i fell. God was the one who was there to help me go through that emo stage in my life, and is still here now.

im grateful that jolyn's entry reminded me so much of God's grace and what he did in my life, so although he may seem so far away i'll know that he's there like he promised always to be.


"...and surely I am with you always, till the very end of age."