never thought to observe any similarities between my younger sister and me, we're not close.
but this morning waking up to shoutings -and what a wonderful way to start a day- i realised at the table while eating and looking at the way my mother scolded my sister...the tone, expressions and words were so familiar, i was taken aback. that mocking, that you-must-know-i-am-right-you-are-wrong tone.
i supposed i have never really looked at my mother scolding my sister before..but this morning i was right beside them. the breakfast/lunch/dinner table's round you see.
my younger sister was pushed to the corner in the midst of her circumstances by my mom. or, our mom. to teach her a lesson...to educate her, but personally i thought it was pushed too far.
looking my my sister's glistering eyes beneath that yellow lamp i could only feel a sense of helplessness. i did try...but there seems to be only one solution, and that one escape route blocked by mom. and there's just seriously nothing you can do.
its comforting, in an twisted kind of way that i realised with more clarity that someone shares that same bitterness inside. and at least she knows that i do understand, that someone's been through it and survived fine before, and she will too.
haha...i just truly realised this morning that we shared the same mother.
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yesterday i was irritated. yes my tolerance level isnt high nowadays..
but you realise now that if someone doesnt bend towards you, deciding to go against your will instead, both of you will end up in a quarrel?
that's because you think that you are always right. or right most of the time. never did try to put yourself in someone else's shoes. you're nice and all, but this is something ive always found, and always used to tolerate.
but i snapped yesterday. perhaps that is my fault. i did not arrive with a mood as sweet as some heavenly cloud.
but politeness and respect to someone is important. the basis of our culture. so please do not treat some person like they are invisible just because you think they do not "deserve" it. if everyone was like that, the whole world would be terrible.
i am not the only one who says this, but ask people who have known you for quite some time, people you have a tendency to show the other side of you to. the world does not revolve around anyone.
i say all this because i want you to know. i can accept, i can tolerate, and yesterday my mood was foul-i was revengeful, snappish. but this is what i have thought of you for a long time, and at some point found out for myself even.
that the world does not revolve around one person alone. please spare a thought for others. thank you.
and do realise i still bother say all this because i still care, and as i write this i have more or less cooled down, to try not to be biased.
but know that sometimes truths do not sound all pretty to the ears. think all you may, i have done my part for you as a friend.