Fullness, completeness, wholeness, in the dead of the night
A full moon, an overflowing cup, a pitcher brimmed with milk.
Yet a life's desire to fall upon
The shadow of a hidden corner
Right ahead
That I cannot fanthom.
Brightness of a smile, a twinkle of the eye
All dim, above the joy beneath
Yet to source a strength from candleflames
Flickering, wavering
To a crumbling frame
That I cannot fanthom.
Embrace the warmest love
All on winter's days and winds
Bathe in heaven's light
To receive the greatest gift
And leave it stowed away for use
That I cannot fanthom.____________________________________
yesterday i snapped my nametag into a quarter and a three quarters. and i supposed i snapped the oral as well, pieces and pieces, not just in half.
there's no use getting affected, but how much can i bear in silence; but its no fault of the others...i'd bear my own expectations to length.
and i know its wrong, when i feel them corrode into my strength. i can never survive alone, i don't want to try. now im just tired, so physically drained.
there's a lot going on, and on top of all that pile; my spirit is empty. and there comes creeping a need that comes with a pain-hefty price.
desperation, but He still smiles at me when - clearly i have given up and ran so far away, when i went against him, when for all the reasons of the world He could reject me now that i come in my greatest need..
but no, He smiles at me still with love in my desperation.
hope in my hopelessness, a quiet peace when i stifle in my flusteredness, and comfort in my disconsolation and all the silent tears i never dared to cry out.
im so sick of taking everything alone by myself, i know i can't - despite all the...needing to be strong.
a need not to break, a need to know and prove im not that weak, not that useless.
but i am nothing, and only so precious in His eyes, only so strong in His strength, only so truly happy in Him.
His joy will be my strength
tsesin 
spoke at : 6:23 AM