today's so weird. just so weird.
i feel like im neither anywhere. not here, nor there...

i don't know whether i should be happy or sad. or whether i should be happy or sad that im neither happy nor sad. LOL// THIS IS SCREWED!

-okays-


the IP people had sabbaticals while the poor olevels us had normal curriculum. and that sucks. esp when you see people learning roller blading in the quadrangle while you walk from your chemistry lab class. very sad.

but thats for the sec1/2 only i think. (heard that the sec 3 sabbatical option sucks) muahahaha.


we watched a movie during chinese...this singapore-made movie.
the plot's quite gan ren..valerie cried la. and almost did but quickly detach myself from the atmosphere to smile and tell val "its just a movie". lol/ cannot cry mah, very paisey.

there was this HORRIBLE scene about this gang raping this girl. they pushed her into a cubicle after spiking her drink while she was dizzy and all..and took turns to one by one go into the cubicle and do horrible horrible horrible stuff to her- and coming out looking so smug. GOSH they have no..SOUL.

she couldnt even scream, nor even put up a fight, and there were 3 or 4 of them...so you imagine after going through the HORRIBLE experience of one the guy comes out and a new eager guy goes in. and she has to take everything in all over again.
SUCK LA IT WAS TERRIBLE TO WATCH. gosh..


and they showed her in the end...just so numb and..URGH the feeling is horrible. and she's just crying and crying and crying afterwards in the cubicle nonstop.. and she committed suicide in the end.


although our chinese teacher told us how little courage she has, committing suicide because she cannot face up to her problems and all. but...i don't know. its just, really really really horrible.. and i don't know how anyone is going to live with it with only her own strength. i really don't.

although dying isnt a solution, i don't blame her for committing suicide, with her situation. sigh,gosh. it so horribly horribly tramatizing.


ha. and today i realised that someone's judgements are harsh. can't stand it. and its hurting. but the only understanding i can give you is maybe you don't realise the implications because your life's been so happy?.
no little Speck of understanding nor compassion at all. sheesh. but forget it.


maybe sometimes its better to keep your own mouth shut in the first place.