two words. darn - it. 
im losing myself... 
until it recovers, im not touching the computer. unless i absolutely HAVE to. its too noisy...it clutters my life. its an excuse to get away from silence. 
silence where the truth will surface. how did i deteriorate so fast? how did i fall back so close to what i was before just from one dream? how did i start to fear so much again...?
no more bright pixelled screens.
i'll not run away from silence now. 
but have victory in Him.