Should i stumble again...


a week's gone now..its gone so fast. when over is the week 3 belonging to the term number 2. and sunday there'll be grading.

im blurry eyed and fuzzy brained now that ive been bloghopping from an associate i don't know well..and later to her friend.

and life is just so full of hurt and pain and agony... where any happiness is questioned. your own worth is questioned. heaven, is borrowed. that sometimes a second passes like eternity, and eternity, like a second. where visages of what could be- lies in dreams fragmented. inertia is lost, addictions arise, insecurities form. you can't let go, you don't know where the wind will blow next. the whole world with its immense population isn't listening. and everyone is bleeding.

when even as i speak, i stare back at a

"you-broke-your-promise"

who knows what lies beneath?-

"my life is plain black"

who knows how deep that black?-


expectations.
from youself, your friends, your parents, society, the world, your dreams. they drain you when you don't meet that silver line and beyond. they hang your self worth on the noose. what you do is always not enough. what you do will never be good enough.


we don't ever see the good in ourselves. we see so much that doesnt exist, so much we have failed at. while others somewhere stare at you with silent eyes of admiration, and you share the same doubts. when your heart lies parallel with that unknown. and you realise; just how much do we view ourselves?

maybe that is when love takes over. love sees what is previously unseen. loves has the power to overeide. love touches your heart. we cry for love. either positively, negatively. love brings heaven to you, love crashes your world. maybe because our worth builds on love. without someone who loves you you are worthless.

but love alone without understanding...is destruction running on sugar high.
and the reaction doesnt stop once it starts. until what is left of you is?


our lives they fill with hurt, blood and gore galore. and who else is there to shed a light upon dark water and light a path into love everlasting, and graces overwhelming.


...still caught in Your grace.