i found something i photocopied last year in the school library. while talking to someone on the phone.if you've wondered what it was, here it is.
psychology.and more then that.
i don't know the book, didnt take it down, and all i know is that it's the chapter 3 of the whole depressing book.and yes, this book's from our school library.
enjoy, its all quite interesting really.
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Emotional Abuse
Emotional abuse may be a less concrete concept than physical abuse, but its effects are clearly visible in the emotionally abused child's behaviour. Name calling and cruel remarks, threats, reminders of past offenses to humilate the young person, and attempts to instill guilt in the child are all facets of emotional abuse. Parents who behave this way produce a child who feels worthless and inadequate. At times, these children may develop a devastating feeling of hopelessness. In some instances, where there was no intervention, these children have even taken their own lives.
Children from emotionally abusive homes may develop various ways of coping in order to survive. For example, they are often unusally wary of the adults around them. They may pay a great deal of attention to the mood changes and the facial expression and body language of the grown-ups in charge of their lives.
By attempting to remain in tune with their parents,they hope to avoid angering or annoying them, and thereby to avoid subsequent humiliation and punishment. Numerous psychotherapists have noted the changeable nature of emotionally abused children's personalities and the way their behaviour shifts with the needs of the moment.
Another consequence of emotional abuse is that these children may tend to inhibit or limit their own goals and activities. They do this to avoid being ridiculed. If a child's words and deeds have made him the object of humiliation, he may find it safer to simply keep quiet and do as little as possible.
Rather than do something "wrong", such young people tend to be more comfortable "playing dumb". It is not uncommon for their teachers to be amazed by how high these children score on achievement tests, because they have been so careful to hide their abilities in class.
However, not all emotionally abusive children react to their environment in the same manner. There are other negative consequences of emotional abuse. Dr. Alayne Yates, a psychiatrist at the University of Arizona College of Medicine in Tucson, studied fifty emotionally abused children over a six-year period. Yates determined from her research that these children generally fell into three distinct categories.
The first group were the destructive children. These children demostrated a great deal of anger and frequently destroyed property or injured people and small animals, with little signs of remorse. They appeared to have poor control over their impulses.
Yates referred to the second and largest group of emotionally abused young children as the frightened children. These children appeared frightened and tried to avoid contact with people. Although they were considerably easier to get along with than the destructive children, they frequently exhibited negative behaviour as well. Many of these children stole or lied compulsively. To please the adult in charge, they would agree to do nearly anything asked of them, only to turn around and do the opposite.
Yate's third group of emotionally abused children were the private children. The private children had an uncanny knack of adapting their behaviour to meet the demands of others. Although these children learned to be outstanding people pleasers, they were unable to develop real attachments to others. Some did not even cling to a favourite object such as a doll or a teddy bear. Some such children appeared particularly bright and attractive to adults. However, their desire to please was usually grounded in fear of being hurt or humiliated, rather then in expectation of praise of pleasure in accomplishment.
Private children tend to adapt to difficult situations with ease. On the surface there seems to be nothing wrong with them. However, the absence of troublesome behaviour doesn't erase their feelings of emptiness and anger at having spent their young lives pleasing others. Often the rage remains tightly bottled inside them for years, only to explode under stressful circumstances in adulthood.
Another study was conducted by Ronald P. Kohler, Ph.D., a professor of anthropology at the University of Connecticut, and Evelyn C. Bettauer, Ph.D., a psychologist at at the Sheldon Child Guidance Clinic in New Britain, Connecticut. It revealed that some rejected children tend to become clingy and possessive. It seems that if the child's needs for affection and warmth are initially unmet, he increases his efforts to win love by becoming extremely dependent.
However, this was found to be true only up to a point. If the child still isn't able to win his parents over, this reponse stops. As a result, many rejected children grow into adulthood unable to give love, because they never received it as young people. They don't have the necessary models on which to pattern their behaviour.
Additionally, despite the fact that rejected children still crave love, after a time they don't know how to accept it. Rejected children are often unable to develop deep and satisfying relationships with others. They may tend to withdraw ever deeper into themselves.
As these children become adults, they may still feel an overwhelming need for affection. However, they are often unable to return affection after years of protecting themselves from unpleasant personal relationships. When they become parents, they may tend to reject their children as they were rejected, because that's all they know. As a result the unhealthy cycle is perpetuated.
There are many different types of emotionally abusive familes. Some are very poor, whereas other are exceptionally affluent. Emotionally abusive parents are found among the unemployed as well as among people in highly prestigious jobs. Emotionally abusive parents may be married or single. The one unfortunate trait these parents all share is that they either willfully or unknowingly crush and destroy their children's joy in living.
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interesting isn't it.if you've managed to read this far.well i know some people would/ people like me
words can kill, dear people. be nicer to your children next time.
tsesin 
spoke at : 7:42 AM