julia says im hardened. and im surprised at the tone that came out from my mouth so unconsciously. so is it a good thing. or not. ? but i cant change it. so there. the end of my fairytale fantasy.
ha ha.
i really don't care now. that's not good right? lol/ it should be.
gee. my right shoulder hurts. with my right wrist that goes out of place every so often so i'l need to crack it back to place. i cant even raise my arm without feeling that sharp pain in my shoulder. i think i'll have to start training to be left handed.
ah. i need a third party between my mom and me. a family councillor or something. or else its only before long that i'll just burst one fine rainy day. she doesnt listen to me, and although i know im not a total angel i know ive tried my best to tolerate everything. but she just doesnt appreciate it. she doesnt get it. and her words are like. nevermind.
i know the problem, ive tried telling her and she doesnt listen. i should tape record what she says and take them to a psychiatrist. then maybe she'll listen.
ok i feel so stupid talking about family problems here. nevermind maybe if she cant stand me and my coldness and i cant stand her anymore i can tell her i need to live in the hostel. then i'll come back home only on saturdays! anyway its quite convinent cos its so near school.
i know im being so ___- but i cant stand it anymore. i cant stand a lot of things cant i;
tsesin 
spoke at : 10:12 PM